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Talk:Paradise Lost/Issue 1/@comment-23785492-20150817234114
OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG *Ahem* So here I am with another one of my boring and unoriginal comments which is done horribly and is just mainly all about. "Ooh" "aahh" reactions but a comment is a comment. <3 Its currently 22:18 (where I am) when I have started writing this comment/reading the issue (since I do both at the same time.) So lets get into it! :3 Oh lawd. D: According to that plot sypnosis we're gonna have a ambush already, although I shouldn't be suprised, with you writing this someone will probably die by the end of the issue. ;D Also damn, you wrote 9k with only three characters? Nice! ...I wish I had that skill. xD A truck huh? Is that a TDW refrence?! D:< (RIP Will's truck tho, issue 1 - issue 119, almost made it in all issues. xDDD) And so our two, what i'm guessing is main characters, although I predict one of them will die within like 20 issues because your meanie. D:< , seem like they might be interesting. Maybe. I'm only like 3 paragraphs in lmao so its a bit early to tell yet. Of coarse though I do like the whole zombie apocalypse stories led by a family to start off with though so its looking promising for me so far. <3 "“You never know when a dashing zombie might stumble out of the woods and sweep her off her feet," she says. "He'd have his hair swooped to the side, you know, to cover his rotting eye socket, and we'll meet his well-to-do zombie parents -- "" lmao ok, i'll agree that conversation about make up there was pretty funny. xD Unless if they turn out to be complete assholes too early down the line they should stick on my favs list for a while. <3 Although unfortuantly I have to give you a cinema sins count since your doing the unoriginal idea of its a kids upcoming birthday which has been done multiple times in movies and shows. God damn it Adrien! Sin Count : 1 Lmao "your...your alright" damn it Jack, your supposed to tell your girl that shes beautiful even without make up. <3 Although most girls these days just scoff and are all like "Bitch please, I look horrible without make up" but you just gotta convince them!! (They are pretty cool though, like damn. <3) I'm just gonna ignore the fact Jack made a slightly racist comment on her eyes though. Although if this was indeed cinema sins there would be like 5 sins counted for that and he'd be like "that's racist" so your lucky its me. xD (NVM I keep stop reading to comment on something and didn't realize that he kept saying she looks,,well not beautiful but hot will do. xD However I wont edit my comment because its supposed to be a do as I go thing. <3) "Angie Jolie" and "George from the office" tho. xD Okay, so I forgot to comment a bit there because I was too distracted with the completely random conversation they was having. xDDD With the first scene done I can say for sure that I'm going to like these two, they seem like pretty awesome characters...which makes me sad because I know your going to do something, I DONT EVEN HAVE TO SEE YOU to know that you are going to do something evil to these two and your going to make me cry all over again like in DF. D; Don't worry though, when I get into my next story, whatever it will be, I shall get my revenge. I have plans, both scary and sad. I have storylines which will only end in tragedy. AND if you do in fact give me a character audition, I have that to control. MUAHAHAHAHA. :3 (Ok break time over, back to the story. xD) As much as I get the whole wanting to sleep in after you wake up, the apocalypse isn't the right time to do that Sam. God damn it girl. xD Jack seems to know what he's doing pretty much though, damn, no wonder why he's called the patriarch in the syposis. xD Lmao, Sam and Jack's interactions though. It reminds me of how I would be with my mother when I was younger. xD but yeah, so far i'm getting the feeling i'm really gonna like these guys like I do most of your characters (unless if you make them complete assholes. xD). Not sure if i'll like them or the story itself more than Dead Frontier, if i'm completely honest I don't think I will, it takes a lot to beat Dead Frontier for me. However I can defiantly see this being really good and enjoyable for me. Your perfect writing makes it all the better as well though. <3 "It's actually bland, tasteless, and a bit too chewy," don't be picky Jack. ;D Its always better to imagine it tastes like chicken though, that's pretty much the fall back option for when something tastes horrible. Either that or spit it out. xDDD In Sam's defense, how the hell can you answer someone's question when they show you the book and not expect it to be an answer to one of the book's questions. lmao like wtf I think Rachel should be punished instead, this is unfair!... Although Sam did also ask with knowing intent...god damn it, she's smarter than I predicted. @.@ Wait a minute, so Sam is dyslexic and she got punished for not being able to read a word even I couldn't read out loud? Wow that's so mean. That is so so so mean. Your already starting with the mean! The way Rachel kept calling her cheater and the way her and Jack interacted earlier reminds me of one of those like oldish, early 40's, parents who still act like children more than their own children do. xDD Also unfortuantly I am going to have to count another sin to your issue. Again you have a child with some kind of disbility which is completely unoriginal and must be counted! Tut tut tut. Sin Count : 2 "Nothing wrong with asking for help." Sam literally just got punished for asking what a word was, i'm pretty sure that contradicts this sentance!! The plot twist Rachel is trying to trick Sam so she can give more punishment, so EVIL! :P ...I'm just randomly putting stuff in this comment now because to be honest I don't know what to put. RIP my comments. ;-; Ok, I don't get a single bit about what she said on the lions, I don't get it at all...but okay. @.@ (Its probably something really fucking simple and i'm just dumber than a gold fish. ;-;) OOOOOH SNAP. Damn Sam looking at dem answers. Little cheater tho. Defiantly gonna have her name as "Cheater" when I put her up on a favorite characters list. <3 xD ANOTHER SIN FOR THE MURDER OF A CUTE FLUFFY INNOCENT BUNNY, IT COULD HAVE BEEN SOMEONES PET!!! Actually, I shall be adding 10 sins! This is not acceptable Adrien!! Sin Count : 12 In all serious though I wasn't expecting a scene like this just yet, like god damn. About half way through only the first issue and little girls are already killing bunnies. Why you do this?!!! D:< Also now I just realize I missed a scene when Jack and Sam was walking in the woods....god. Damn. it. ~Revert time~ Glad I noticed the scene, otherwise I would have missed Jack getting hit in the nose by tree branches. xD "Yeah, I'm just talkin' out of my ass" He's honest, I give him that. xD Tut tut tut, the same old child not wanting to eat too much for her parents and all, you sir can have another si- eh fuck it. No sins for this issue! Although I now also realized I missed a scene before this one, god damn it i'm gonna get paranoid about missing scenes, how am I even doing it? xD Ok so I didn't miss much at least, a small conversation and them telling eachother they smell. Sounds like a normal every day relationship. lol Lmao, poor Jack not getting to play his music in front of Sam. xDDD To be fair though they have said shit and at least one other swear in front of her, why not just let her hear the loud music as well? :P And of coarse we then get to the thief of our issue....why can't you just have one issue without stuff like this, why? >.< xD Now you see, this is what I question myself every time when this situation happens. Rachel was able to quickly pull out her gun and point it at the man's eye and yes he was able to point his shotgun at her BUT he didn't fire. If she had fired automatically she would have a better chance of getting out alive and keeping the supplies. Instead she doesn't shoot. Tut tut tut Rachel. First rule of an apocalypse is you don't just threaten, you do. Now the truck and all the supplies are going to be stolen. Good job! xD "She should've taken out his eye when she had the chance" I would say I told you so if she would have been able to read what I put just now. xDDD To be honest though, as much as you really want to call the man a sick monster or the worse human being ever, I understand he's position (unless if of coarse it turns out he doesn't have a family and its just him.), you know. In an apocalypse you have to look out for yourself and the few people you truely care about. I'm sure if it came down to it and they were getting desperate at least Jack would do the same thing, if he really needed to. I mean I'm not saying I would be like that in an apocalypse, even if I managed to last more than one day I don't think i'd be able to bring myself to the point of stealing from somebody. However it is a dog eats dog world out there, so i'm not really mad at him. It is a shame though. RIP Jack's truck. Issue 1 - Issue 1. D; It is a bit unfair to shout at Rachel lmao. He did have a shot gun at her face but I'd honestly be pretty pissed if I was in Jack's position as well....god damn it Adrien. Issue 1 and I can already tell your going to be mean to this family. D:< Why do you do this? Do you just like to play games with our hearts?! D; You see though, this is when you need a William in your story. The kinda guy who magically can find the "baddies" and take them down. lmao. Lets be honest, Will pretty much was that guy. xD "pitbull versus a poodle" Only cause she is a woman, you don't have to compare her to a poodle! xD there is many other dogs out there which could be less vicious than a pitbull but noooo, you have to pick the poodle. >.< :P However with Jack going on about how she might have missed her shot and all that i'm just thinking about how she had the shot on his eye...it would have taken the worst shot ever to miss that lmao. Although I guess he could have quick dodging. Mostly though, kindappers/theives/rapists are not actually expecting their target to fight back though, so if she had came out of that truck, aimed and quickly fired he could have taken him by suprise. I'm starting to talk about logic here though which is not why I am here, I am here to read a story! @.@ (Oh god this comment is so long and i'm about half way through the issue lmao. I think I'm just gonna stop commenting on every single scene, get the issue read and then sum it up. xD) Alright so I haven't finished the issue completely but i've read about 3 scenes. The mysterious message in the journal seems pretty interesting, especially how he says "directions to somewhere", maybe it will lead the family to that other group in the characters list, HMMM? ;D Also damn you Adrien. I was going to use a lake side cabin camp idea for my story but you done it first. <3 I mean I still could...but it was bad enough I done a motel in my story after you did in Dead Frontier. :P lmao I still have one camp setting idea for my story though, one that I haven't seen on here yet, so don't you or anyone else go stealing that either. <3 @.@ So this family is one of those types of families where you basically really can't get away with lying to eachother huh? lol that's like my aunt. You couldn't tell a lie to her even if it was to save the world. xD I'm pretty sure there is going to be something about that destination journal thing as the story progresses though, since Jack mentionned it to Rachel. D: Also I give an A to Jack for his presentation as well. Its probably hard to balance food like that. <3 Oh god. Oh god. @.@ Ok so I did get too caught up in the story and forgot that I was supposed to be leaving a comment but its okay. I've finished it and its not been that long. About 2 hours.. I think. xD but damn, that cliffhanger ending though. @.@ Its only issue 1 and we have already had : A little girl killing something cute? Check! Some stealing the main families supplies? Check! A large group of infected coming in and screwing things up? Check! And finally a cliffhanger which is too mean for the first issue? Check! ...Damn you Adrien. xD But yeah, i'm not gonna lie this issue was pretty freaking awesome and if i'm completely honest, it was much better than the other story that you had been writing (the one that I forgot its name right now. xD). I wouldn't say its better than Dead Frontier right now, too early and still got a way to go. But it already has me hooked like DF did with its first issue. <3 The writing itself was perfect as always, you and Zed really have a ability to write your issues so I can literally picture them going on in my head and I love that. That's what makes a story good for me so good job on that. :3 Now the characters? Perfect as well! I'm loving the fosters family so much so far. xD They are pretty cool though and their interactions are so greatly written and it of coarse makes me hope that they live throughout the entire story but I know you man and I know they're all probably going to die. ;-; I'll go on about each of them individually though, there is only three (excluding that truck robber. >.<) so far so its no real harm in reviewing each of the characters. Jack : He's pretty cool. Honestly I can see myself liking him better than Cole. He really reminds me of that good guy who wants things to be better and doesn't really like what he has to do but recognises that he does HAVE to do them. Like how he was when it came to killing that rabbit. I also of coarse loved his interactions with Rachel, especially the first scene. <3, and I can defiantly see he's gonna be a good, ah protagonist? he seems lik thats what he is but i'm not too sure. Sam : I love the cheater already. <3 xD But yeah, like her father she is pretty freaking awesome. I liked the whole soft ball talks she was having with Jack and then her smart ass comments lmao, I do like a little girl who can stand up for herself. I'm also of coarse looking forward to seeing where her storyline goes and how far she makes it as well as what she develops into. :3 Rachel : And then we come to Rachel. She's funny, pretty nice and I can see her leaving a soft spot in my heart during this story. Like I said with Jack's and Sam's reviews, her interactions with them were awesome and had me smiling. However, now I don't know if I'm spoiling it for myself, but I have a feeling she won't last too long. I just get the feeling Jack and Sam are going to make it quite far but early down the line Rachel's gonna be lost and it will develop the two to be either closer or further apart....I know your going to do it Adrien...I know. :( Apart from that, I can't really think of anything else to add. I mean lets be honest, this comment is probably too long already. lmao. So yeah, i'll leave this here for now and just eagerly wait for the next issue. <3 10/10 ;D